The # 1 Thing you need on a Ranch?

Well I can say the first and only thing would be a very large sense of HUMOR....You can never have enough of it...If you can not laugh at yourself...Well you just might reconsider that living on a farm is not for you.......It is called a funny farm for good reason. You can never predict what will, has or could happen.....Being prepared with your humor will keep you closer to sanity. Yes, there are sad times as well as chores no one would ever want to do....They are done because the cost is little compared to the benefits...Today's funny would be me going to feed the horses this morning....I have to snicker that with the winds blowing at 70 MPH it has assisted me in several ways, but has hindered others....I do not need to sweep the feed up because it is now wedged against the carport back door....The Alpacas are wet and buckling down under a tree and trying to snatch feed while it flies by them...I hull up the three flakes of feed on my right shoulder and balance it against my head. I am half way to the gate and a gust of wind picks half the feed up and away from my grip...I am forced to decide to hold onto what is left and retrieve the wayward feed later or try to pick it up and keep what I have intact..Both choices? Alright feed first retrieve in a moment... I dump my load into the feed buckets...Something out of the Wizard of Oz flies past me the horses spook and I stand motionless in the wind while the horse swirl around me...The lost feed is now air born and appears as if falling from the sky....The horses try to catch the drifting feed as if it is a game....I go through the pastures picking up yet more things that we do not own but are now located here....The barn makes noises that are out of a horror film and the cats are on my heels to let them in. I find the poor old Buluga dog pacing in and out of the bedroom....The small trees across the street are now for the most part down....The news informs me that there are massive power outages. Clearly not here yet...We are prepared for such a thing.... But it will not make any differance as today I will be out with the fence guy trying to finish the long overdue job... We must get the Alpacas moved to the larger pasture as they are in a pen that is almost a total lost and will have to recover somehow. Yes, with the wind is the driving rains.....Over and out to the funny farm work....

3:45 AM

Why yes by God it is 3:45 am. What in heaven's name am I doing up? What do I think can be done at this hour about the house. I had to make some hot cereal while I wait for the coffee. I'd anything to clawl into bed and just sleep a few more hours. But at last I can not............

While it's not raining.

Well now the fact that it is NOT raining is news enough on it's own, despite the high wind warning and storm warning for this evening. So I in my calm thinking world (hahaha) I traipse outside in my rubber boots and head band, no jacket as the job that I am going to try to do is hard work and it is only a matter of a few minutes before I will break out in a sweat. Muck bucket and pitch fork in tow. Well the boys greet me with a dash to the gate only to turn their backs on me as I do not have their beloved grain. They retreat to the evergreens tree to continue on with the mock combat, nipping at each others heels and necks. Well I am trying to keep my balance in the muck and I do fine for the first hour and several trips to the compost pile. This is at the very moment my mind is thinking well this is better than last week....Be careful what you say... Down I go right into the huge pile I just had domed up and was beginning to put into the muck cart...The second best way to pick alpaca pooh is to land in it....it will and does stick to everything it comes in contact with once it is rained on for more than a few hours... I get to the door closest to the washer only to find it locked... What was I thinking.. Up to the kitchen door where I try to get boots off ( they too are covered) Now what am I to do...Slip in door peel off clothes and toss them into car port? Try to get to a bathrobe? This a dilemma to be sure..Okay out flies the sad grimy boots....Shit.... Now I'm in for it how do I get myself cleaned up....Nothing I have on is unscathed and Thomas wants in. I try to stop him but it is too late he has to rolled in the pile of clothes that I have peeled off, I grab him by the neck and we are off. I start the shower that he loves to play in after your out.... We have never tried to wash either cat.... But necessity rules....We are now engaged in a wet combat of our own...Serves him right for picking on the smaller and weaker slinky....I know that Slinky is right outside the bathroom door with Buluga....I know that Slinky is laughing and rolling in pure joy that revenge has finally come to Thomas....How am I going to dry this beast? Damn! All the towels but one are either in washer or soaking up the puddle downstairs....I take the only dry clean towel available and dry him off before he escapes. I step out of shower only to step in the pile of dirty clothes, of course. I am now wet with a wet cat hair covered towel as well as squishy Alpaca pooh between my fairly clean toes which I now need to shower myself....Thank God for terry bathrobes...JOHN'S!!!! Heck he's not home, he wont need as bad as I do today....I will when he comes home wait for his turn on the Alpaca pooh slip and slid rodeo at the Halleyville Ranch....

 

Why We Can't Resist

If you ever wondered about why

Alpacas can grab your heart

this photo of Little Guy will!!!

Our youngest baby.

Farm & friends

Prom laying down after three weeks of trying.


Last night shortly after 4:30 I managed not to feel guilty about the rain...Why you ask? Well it stopped raining for a few moments and I was able to go get a few fresh photos...I have been trying to get a 1200 pound horse to lay dawn on command...This in it self is a huge test of patience and a great deal of time.. Prom and Playboy being the two students who resist more so than the lovely and easy Jezzie. They finally GOT it and even stayed down long enough so that I might be able to get a photo or two..John will not believe this other than if the photos appear here. Not that he would not think me able to train them...It is more like he knows the said horses and their attitudes the resist at all cost twins. And no food pay off training takes far longer...

The farm babies got fed a few moments before two friends came out for dinner....Shrimp cocktail, chicken piccata, wine and bread, for the guest not the animals.. We all had a good time the wine and cookies that the girls brought , well let say that the cookies are gone and they tasted fab in my coffee at 4:30 this morning. Alright maybe even better than that....

ALPACA POOH FOR YOU

Yes that's right folks I am selling alpaca pooh....You will be shaking your head at this but the fact is that people are paying me 6 $ per 5# bag....Organic & odor free..

Did I mention that the alpacas are having a good time watching me collect the stuff in one gallon freezer bags... Who knows what they maybe thinking....I am assuming their conversations go something like this....

Hey Charlie Brown....Yeah Buster what's up? Breakfast okay? Yeah...That chick is back with those crazy rubber boots and bags again...Hey Papo do you have any idea what the hell she's doing? Heck no everytime she comes in, it is food, water or bags.... But boy she sure cleans those piles we leave...Why does she want it? Little Guy butts in hey guys what's up? Do you think she has some grain? No she has bag's again....Well damn give me a shout when she comes back with that tray. Do you think she'll fall again? We can only hope,that was pretty funny!

Hey you naughty boys stop laughing already, this here is black Halleyville gold....